


Better Left Unspoken

by forlsmaker



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 05:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12858054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forlsmaker/pseuds/forlsmaker
Summary: Mature future fic, (attempted) slow burn.Kaiba's probably going to have a meltdown when everyone comes back together again.  Yuugi's having a personality crisis, Jounouchi's part of a major KaibaLand project and Mokuba's (heartbroken and) about to leave for University. Five years have passed, but one thing's the same: a fatal attraction to Jounouchi.





	1. Chapter 1

**New:** Minor editing for the sake of flow and clarity. No plot changes.

 **A/N:** It's been a little while since I've written anything. I'm a tad rusty but hopefully it's still an enjoyable read.

* * *

**Early-December**

 

 **_D_** ecember settled in quickly, bringing the first of winter's chill to Domino. Undeterred by the cold, the city grew even more vibrant. Strings of festive lights encircled the trees and hung from the windows of even the smallest shops. People weaved in and out of the crowd to get where they needed to go in preparation for the year's end, buying sweets and gifts for their loved ones. Among them, Kaiba had tucked himself into the corner of a small boutique, watching his younger brother rifle through a pile of scarves trying to find the perfect one.  
  
Their morning had been more eventful than Kaiba would have liked, with Mokuba practically tripping down the stairs with excitement and whisking them out the door to hit the stores. December was the one time when he was able to take some time out for himself as stocks generally took care of themselves with all that gift-giving and group-gathering nonsense everyone except him seemed to like so much. He also worked himself raw October through November to ensure that his commitments were light and he could afford to have the time off. Due to that, shopping wasn't his preferred leisure activity, but Mokuba was almost 18 and Kaiba had realized that the possibility of Mokuba running off to some foreign college, and disappearing on him for three years, was becoming quite possible now that acceptance letters were being mailed out.  
  
"What about this one?"  
  
Mokuba held a dark red scarf in one hand. The material was thick and warm, with strands of green running through it here and there, and the ends were cut to look frayed. Kaiba let his head dip slightly in approval and Mokuba signalled to the store clerk that his mind was made up. He shoved it in his bag, along with the other things he'd bought throughout the day, and grabbed his brother's hand, dragging him out of the store.

Grateful at least to be out of the corner, Kaiba let himself be dragged out onto the sidewalk. The dry, cool wind, hit his face and he let himself enjoy it for a moment or two before he turned to Mokuba who was hurriedly tapping away at his phone's onscreen keyboard. He knew it was probably Yuugi his brother was messaging, or some girl, one or the other, but when he tried to look, Mokuba pulled the phone back skillfully without even looking up from what he was typing.

He clucked his tongue and shoved his hand into his pocket. He told himself he should enjoy this while it lasted... After all, he still felt like one day he woke up and Mokuba was a teenager. The younger Kaiba had cut his hair shorter recently, giving him a teen idol sort of look that Kaiba was still getting used to, but his clothing taste developed, running more towards business casual, and Kaiba was thankful for that. Mokuba was definitely handsome, a thought that was echoed by all the teenage girls in Domino City, and he was having his own successes hosting a lot of KaibaCorp fundraisers and expos, which suited his exuberant personality much better than Kaiba's, which still remained icy and indifferent.

_ But _ , he conceded,  _ this is nice. _

Finally, Mokuba looked back to him, a bright smile on his face. "Everyone's finally here now."

Kaiba's eyes narrowed. “And here I thought I was just starting to have fun."

Mokuba grinned at him devilishly and held up the bag he'd been shoving the numerous purchases into. "Gifts, big brother," he said pointedly. "That  _ you _ helped me pick out."

"You showed me, I nodded, you bought.”

"Close enough," Mokuba chimed and slid his phone back into his pocket. "So, coffee?"

Kaiba nodded. Coffee sounded good.

As they walked, he let himself quietly observe the scenery around him once more, all the while idly agreeing or disagreeing with his younger brother on the myriad of topics that were on his mind. Blah, blah, blah, KaibaCorp, Christmas parties, different kinds of cake, blah, blah, blah, KaibaCorp having a Christmas party with five different kinds of cake. By the time they arrived at the cafe and settled into a booth next to each other, Mokuba had already planned a whole party down to the napkins.

"You're good at this.”

Mokuba gave him a side-glance from from over the rim of his hot chocolate.

"You could always run for Chief Creative Officer next year."

"Or you just don't want me accepting the offer to go to Switzerland," Mokuba snorted when he put his cup down.

"I am simply saying you have other options to consider," he corrected him before lifting the cup of coffee to his mouth. “And what time are you meeting the others tomorrow?" he asked, before he took a sip. “You still have priorities.”

"Well nothing's set in stone, yet, but since everyone's back today, we'll probably coordinate the time soon… Are you sure you won't come?"

He made a face like he had tasted something particularly bitter. "Certain.”

Mokuba stroked the handle of the cup with his thumb, still holding it up to his mouth. "The one time that everyone is actually here, and we actually have free time, you won't come.” He sighed hard. “How did I know this was going to happen?"

Kaiba glanced at him, but upon seeing the crestfallen look, he chose to bite back his snide comment, and started to take advantage of the view his window seat offered him instead.

They'd been over this before: Mokuba had chosen to keep in touch with ‘them’–mostly Yuugi from what he gathered, but it was a group package so ‘them’ it remained. Kaiba, himself, made no effort, and wanted no part in the periodic updates. Mokuba would scold him for his attitude towards the people who 'saved the both of us repeatedly, if you happened to forget', and Kaiba would answer with the usual, 'I saved myself and I owe them nothing'. Now, it had been five years since he had seen them as a group and he still felt the same. At least, the year that just went past, Mokuba had given up on it. Kaiba figured hormones, girls, and university offers had finally become more important than the near impossible task of convincing him to care.

Mokuba piped up again, his voice the certain type of teenage-bitter that let's you know you’re in deep. "Change of plans, big brother,” he said, “We're meeting them now.”

The rush of noise that approached them, coupled with Mokuba's words, made his stomach drop. His eyes darted to face front and he saw Yuugi first, Anzu and Honda behind him, heading towards the booth.

His jaw clenched immediately, realizing what Mokuba had done, and the urgency to head out the door and finish the shopping first thing in the morning.

“Change of plans, my ass,” he hissed quietly, before they reached the table.

Mokuba did not stand to greet them, and Kaiba knew it was to keep him planted where he was. As they hugged and greeted, he assessed if he could hop the table and make a brisk getaway, but he didn't do it quickly enough.

"Hey, Kaiba," Yuugi greeted as he slid into the booth opposite, taking the window seat.

"Yuugi," he managed with a slight nod of his head, avoiding the inquisitive violet gaze by turning his own back towards the window.

Honda slid into the seat next to him, and Anzu sat down next to Mokuba, and quickly the booth was consumed by their chatter and the scent of chocolate and cinnamon; but the erratic clinking of cups and forks hitting plates, and random raised voices kept him on-edge. They exchanged gifts, and winter wishes. It was nauseating. Mokuba's cheery demeanour only added to his ire, going so far as to make him feel disrespected.

Tricked, sour, and still festering, Kaiba turned his glare to Yuugi whose eyes he could still feel burning holes into the side of his head, but unfortunately, this only gave Yuugi the impression that he was ready for conversation.

"How have you been, Kaiba?"

As polite as he could, he deflected the question: "Fine."

"I saw your VR reveal on TV last month. It'll be a big success, I think."

"Of course it will.”

“And Mokuba's speech was really good. The crowd accepted it easily."

"Yeah, maybe he should be the new face of KaibaCorp," Honda interjected teasingly, gaining the harsh glare of Kaiba's pent-up frustration.

"Actually," Mokuba piped up, before Kaiba could get any slandering words out, "Seto was just suggesting that I become Chief Creative Officer next year."

There was a murmur of approval and congratulations throughout the table and then Anzu: "So you're not considering the school in Switzerland, anymore?"

Kaiba looked towards his brother, glare still locked-and-loaded, his mood and eyebrows knitting even tighter.

_ Since when did they all get this close? _

Mokuba just smiled–a business man's smile–and with impressive tact, said, “It’s still being considered.”

Kaiba looked back out of the window again, trying to unball the fists that had formed under the table, nails starting to dig painfully into the flesh of his palms. Down the street, a young boy and girl argued, and Kaiba let his attention focus on their scuffle. He quickly realized that it was over a candybar of some sort, the brightly coloured wrapper being waved around by the boy, far out of the smaller girl's reach. Just as the girl gave another futile jump, her face red with frustration and cold, the candybar was snatched away by a stranger who had just walked up.

The young children turned to face their assailant, and Kaiba found himself doing the same, observing the stranger who was dressed all in black with the hood up. The man put the candybar behind his back and crouched to their level. Kaiba arched an eyebrow, his frown still deeply rooted on his face, and watched intently as they started to talk before, finally, the little boy pointed. The stranger took a hand out from behind his back, and gave the candy bar to the young boy. A second later, the other hand came into view and he gave the girl a matching pack, as well.

_ How sweet _ , Kaiba snarked to himself, picking up his coffee and bringing it to his lips.

As the children scampered off, the man continued on down the block heading closer, his head lowered enough that Kaiba could not make it out. Upon taking in the man's outfit, and realizing that it was much more than just a black ensemble, he bit the inside of his cheek feeling annoyed still, but appreciative. Taking a sip of his coffee, he watched the stranger reach up to take off his hood. Promptly, upon seeing that stranger's face and a head of blonde hair, he choked on the coffee going down his throat.

He tried to smother the cough that came along, but the bitter taste that was coating his throat made it difficult and he let out a quick cough. The red-hot flame of embarrassment boiled up inside of him, along with the realization that he had somehow managed to find Jounouchi attractive for even a split second after all this time.

"Are you okay?" Yuugi asked, genuine concern displayed on his face, his question echoed by the others at the table.

  
He didn’t bother to respond, trying to keep his composure and wait, and the concern of the others was quickly diverted as the door to the store chimed, and while Kaiba continued to suffer with the liquid stuck in his throat, Jounouchi sidled up to the table.

"Kaiba, are you dyin'?" Jounouchi asked, his voice filled with laughter and curiosity at the same time.

"Not likely," Kaiba managed as the dark liquid finally quit its assault on his throat and found its way down the right way.

"Good," he replied, pulling off his coat and taking a seat next to Honda.

Kaiba felt Mokuba pat his leg underneath the table but at this point it wasn't much comfort.

"Sorry, I'm late," Jounouchi apologized, "The meeting ran a little bit late."

"Wouldn't be like you to be on time," Honda jeered.

Jounouchi snorted. "Yeah, well, I was busy jumping a little kid for their chocolate bar."

"But how did the interview go?" Honda asked, clearly unamused.

"The meeting went fine, Honda, thanks for askin'."

"So?" Mokuba asked excitedly.

"What's the verdict?" Anzu joined in.

"Uh, well, I'm still waiting for the call but I'm pretty sure it's a go. The head engineer didn't seem to have any reservations about showing me the project specs and introducing me to some of the mechanics."

From his spot in the corner, Kaiba dealt with his stomach as it started to twist. He knew what was coming now. This wasn't just a happy highschool reunion and those weren’t holiday gifts. It was a god damn reunification, and Mokuba was welcoming them back.

"So then the gang's back together!" Anzu cheered from behind Mokuba.

"Hear hear," Honda grumbled, looking just as Kaiba felt.

There was a quiet laughter at the table then, and Kaiba could feel the momentary disconnect before the conversation resumed.

He had always wished Mokuba had chosen to sever his ties all those years ago… So he'd never felt like it had been in his best interest to listen to Mokuba's updates, but now he regretted it. If he had paid attention then maybe he would understand now why the scene before him seemed like someone had bought a horribly cheap cake, and smeared icing over it to try and make it taste better, or why a small smile had crept up on Jounouchi's lips and even as the chatter resumed between them, Jounouchi stayed silent, not talking to anyone at all.

Kaiba kept his gaze focused on the other, trying to project his frustrations him, but even though he had been forced into this situation–blocked into the booth by Mokuba and Anzu, stuck being analyzed by Yuugi from across the booth, even assaulted by Jounouchi through the window–he could not. Jounouchi just sat there, looking something both wistful and contrite, and despite Mokuba being right next to him, he had never felt further removed from a situation.

"I've gotta head out now," Anzu said suddenly, sounding satisfied, "I have recitals in a few hours. Yuugi?"

"Coming," he answered complacently.

"I'll come with you," Honda echoed, "Gotta head back to the station."

Mokuba suddenly perked up. "Can I stand in the line-up?"

Kaiba cut his eyes at his brother but he was just met with another of those dazzling businessman smiles. "Fine, but I'm not bailing you out if someone recognizes you," he snarked, trying to block out the rising emotion.

Mokuba just laughed, and gathered his things.

_ Finally _ , he triumphed as the rest of the group stood up, preparing to leave. He let himself look out of the window again, thinking he would try to gather his thoughts now, but after a minute he heard someone sit back down at the booth.

Reluctantly, he turned his eyes back to the table, expecting Yuugi and another weak attempt at conversation, but instead, he only saw Jounouchi, looking back at him. The afternoon sun, which was already falling fast, was caught in the other's dark brown eyes, revealing an amber depth that made him bristle.

"You're not going to take your leave?" he ground out, gesturing towards the door.

The silence that followed was eerie and Kaiba felt a tug of nostalgia, briefly brought back to a time that seemed very far away; a time when Jounouchi would purposely put himself in Kaiba's line of sight, always trying and never really making the statement he wanted to make. Annoyed even further by that memory, he glared at the other with contempt.

Quickly, the unreadable expression cracked and a crooked smile appeared on Jounouchi's face.

"I just figured I'd stick around and make ya miserable instead," was the astute answer Kaiba received, and the tightly wound strings within him released all at once.

He almost groaned out loud.

"Mokuba force you to be here?" Jounouchi asked, stirring his hot chocolate with a long, thin, dessert spoon now.

It clanged off the side of the cup awkwardly, and Kaiba turned his attention back towards the window for what felt like the thousandth time. He hoped Jounouchi would take the hint, or at least be put off by his silence.

"He always was a brat. Pretty good at it, too, if he managed to get you in here with all of us."

Jounouchi laughed awkwardly, and paused for a response.

"Still not much of a talker, huh? That's fine, though… I like you better when you're acting all cool and apathetic."

Kaiba let his eyes roll back to Jounouchi, an eyebrow raised in question, but Jounouchi wasn't looking at him  anymore. His dark eyes were focused on what, if anything, was left in his mug and the strange expression had returned. Staying silent, he began looking at the eyelashes that were casting shadows down Jounouchi's cheeks. He raised his coffee and took a sip, watching the slow progression of emotions, always readily available on the other’s face.

"I know we've never been close," Jounouchi started finally, his voice sounding strained, "And that's not gonna change, but it's still irritating you pretend not to hear what I'm saying."

"Some things are better left unspoken," Kaiba offered, hoping to close the conversation, and met Jounouchi's wide eyes when they looked back at him.

"No shit," Jounouchi grunted, before breaking eye contact and swallowing the last of what was in his mug.

There was another silence, and Kaiba could tell that Jounouchi had something to say. He waited for it, not really curious but interested for the moment, and then Jounouchi seemed to shake himself in gear.

"Well, it was nice seein’ you, Kaiba.”

Kaiba watched as he pulled up a scarf from beside him on the booth and wrapped it around his neck. He recognized the scarf as the one that Mokuba had picked up from the boutique and an unfamiliar feeling ran through his chest.

_ Gifts, big brother. That you helped me pick out. _

Kaiba's voice left his lips before he could stop it, and he called out to as the other stood, coat in hand.

Jounouchi looked at him, his eyebrows drawn together.

"... You, too."

He watched Jounouchi's face tighten a little bit more, a line forming between his eyebrows, and then Jounouchi was laughing. It was bright and full, and  Kaiba felt a strange  reassurance from it; that Jounouchi was still Jounouchi, even after all this time.

But he was sure he hadn't meant to be funny, and Jounouchi was still laughing like he'd been told a very grand joke. All he could do was watch as it died down, Jounouchi trying desperately to contain it.

"Even you trying to be nice is mean," Jounouchi said finally, his voice still ringing with humour that Kaiba couldn't understand.

The blonde dropped a few bills on the table next to his empty mug, and Kaiba watched as he walked away, feeling wholly unsettled by the entire experience, but mostly Jounouchi now. After a moment, he scoffed, settling on the idea that the blond had merely lost a few more screws over the years, and he picked up his coffee, intent on finishing it in peace.

_ Even if they are back, it doesn’t concern me,  _ he told himself confidently.  _ I won't see him anymore, or any of them for that matter. It doesn't concern me. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Mid-December**

 

**_K_** aiba knew something was wrong the moment Mokuba stepped out of the hotel's elevator to meet him.

His younger brother's mouth was turned down in a frown, and his eyes were lidded, looking at nothing in particular. His thick, dark hair was tousled and he had one hand shoved into the pocket of his dress slacks, tie loose around his neck.

"You’re not going in there looking like that."

Mokuba clucked his tongue in response, and let his weight fall to rest on one leg, furthering how improper he looked.

"What happened?" Kaiba asked, his voice low, as he reached forward to grab the skewed tie, forcefully adjusting it. 

“I was rejected by someone,” was the concise answer he received, and “I don't want to talk about it with you,” followed next.   
  
Opening his mouth to reply, Kaiba noticed a few men in business suits come out of the doors further down the hall and start towards them. He let go of his brother and chose to keep his mouth shut, and Mokuba straightened his posture with the approach of the men. Grey eyes found Kaiba’s blue ones, but the look was bare, and he knew he needed to do something.

It was rare to see Mokuba this upset. The younger Kaiba had grown to hide the majority of his emotions under an obliging smile, a tendency Kaiba was sure he was responsible for, but regardless of concern, Mokuba had said that he did not want to talk about it with him and he didn't have the breadth currently to force it out of the sour teenager. It would have to wait until later in the night.

The men came up, both taking deep bows. "Thank you for having us, Mr. Kaiba," they said in unison.

He gave them a small nod and they shuffled into the elevator.

When they were finally gone, behind the solid metal of the elevator doors, Mokuba frowned and said, “Alright, let's get this over with.”

Getting it over with, as Mokuba had coolly put it, consisted of the younger Kaiba moving around the room at the annual year-end KaibaCorp party and doing a slightly better job at pretending to be interested in clipped business talk, unprofitable opinions, and obligated thank-yous. Kaiba did not do those things normally, and did not do those things this night, either. Instead, each year, he used the party as a foot-in-the-door approach to business deals he had planned in the new year.   
  
Certain deals were better dealt with after their representatives were all buttered up, Kaiba knew. Good public representation was worth just as much as the acquisition of assets, and it was much easier to take shares or assimilate more stubborn companies after initial collaboration or outsourcing deals. He still maintained his penchant for hostile takeovers, but those people were invited to a different party.   
  
After losing Mokuba to the bad attitude and the crowd for good, Kaiba let his eyes scour the masses for his next target. Quickly, Kaiba spotted a middle-aged man observing the dessert table. He made his way through the people and the various groups they formed at such functions, until he reached the man, who seemed to be debating over plain vanilla or limoncello cake.   
  
"Mr. Ikusawa?"   
  
"Oh, dear, Mr. Kaiba!" He exclaimed, quickly turning around.

Kaiba thought he sounded almost scared. He looked it, too.

"It is my party."   
  
"Of course, of course," the man said, his voice light and awkward before stepping away from the dessert table. "It's just usually the only people who call me Mr. Ikusawa are my employees and I thought you were-" He stopped abruptly, apparently noticing that his line of thought was inappropriate. He shook his head and started again, "Thank you for inviting me."   
  
Kaiba nodded and extended a hand, gesturing to the tables not too far away. "Let's talk business."   
  
When they were finally seated, Kaiba started in on the proposal, wasting no time. He knew these things could be awkward, and he knew this Ikusawa fellow was already suffering from the effects long before he'd been approached. He was doing them both a favour.   
  
Ikusawa listened intently, nodding here and there only stopping him to clarify once: "So, the company would be predominantly concerned with facility management more than development or enhancement work?"   
  
"Yes, that would be a major part of the contract. However, depending on the team you put together, KaibaCorp is more than willing to collaborate with your company again on KaibaLand attractions."   
  
"Ah, good," Ikusawa said, sounding relieved.   
  
"Who do you have in mind for the team?" Kaiba prodded further.   
  
"Some people your Domino KaibaLand team are already familiar with but also, I have a new employee who I want to be on the team. He worked on streamlining a Tokyo KaibaLand ride prior to joining us."   
  
"New?" Kaiba asked, narrowing his eyes. "You don't see that as a risk to the team?"   
  
"Hm, perhaps," Ikusawa said thoughtfully, "But a calculated one. The man's resume is impressive, to say the least. He aced the practical exams in university, and has already participated in three projects with similar objectives, which are all still running seamlessly. The only risk is whether or not he gets along with the team but those things are easily resolved."   
  
Kaiba looked at him seriously but upon seeing how serious Ikusawa seemed, he nodded and left the subject alone. They talked for a few more moments about the scope of the job before Kaiba stood from the table. Ikusawa stood up and bowed politely.   
  
"Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Kaiba. We look forward to working with you in the new year."   
  
Kaiba nodded slightly. "Yes, see you in the new year."   
  
As they parted ways, Ikusawa heading back over the dessert table, Kaiba was intercepted by Mokuba who grabbed onto his arm.   
  
"Did it go well?"   
  
Kaiba's nose wrinkled at the smell of champagne on his younger brother's breath.   
  
"Of course it did," he said, pulling his arm away and smoothing the sleeve of his suit jacket. He gave him a sharp look. "If you're drunk you should go to your room."   
  
Mokuba snorted a little and stood up tall. "I'm not drunk," he said, sounding satisfied. "I only had a few glasses."   
  
"Yeah, right.” 

He grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing waiter.  
  
"Anyway, Seto, that man you were talking to, isn't he from I.K. Tech?"   
  
Kaiba lifted an eyebrow. "What about him?"   
  
"That's where Jounouchi had his interview. I wonder if they'll put him on the project, too."   
  
"They won't if they know what's good for them,” he murmured, and took a sip of his champagne.   
  
Mokuba directed a cold look his way that was slightly off considering he had a bit much too drink.   
  
"What?"   
  
"You," Mokuba said simply. "Still holding onto past biases against Jounouchi. If you paid any attention to anything I said you'd know his accomplishments are pretty great considering-"   
  
"Considering what?" Kaiba questioned, cutting his brother off. "That he was a low-life thug who didn't know left from right until Yuugi came along? And even then, he was second-rate at best. I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on all those exams and told lame engineering jokes to get where he is now."   
  
Mokuba cut his eyes at him as if he was personally slighted by the insults. "Do you always have to be such a jerk?"   
  
"I'm nothing if not consistent."   
  
The scowl he received made him clench his jaw.

“I can’t wait to get out of here.”

He said nothing as he watched Mokuba stalk off towards the hall doors. He wasn't going to apologize for being honest with his opinion, but he did understand that it probably wasn't a good idea to ask about the rejection anymore.

The rest of the party went on smoothly. No one there was brazen enough to have an issue with Kaiba's mood, and he found it easy to slip out as it started to wrap up. Shortly after, he found himself staring down his third glass of whiskey in the executive's bar of the hotel. The warm amber liquid left his empty stomach burning, and his thoughts jumping around haphazardly.

Ever since the café reunion, Mokuba had been… fickle. One moment they were talking casually, or judging the footwear of their employees via eye contact, and the next Mokuba was reserved, or flat-out cold… He knew his steady, comfortable pattern of rejection had caused him to become removed from Mokuba's personal life... but never to the point Mokuba would act the way he did this night. If he had to guess, it was probably due to ‘them’, but he didn't have the faintest clue what would be going on.

Somewhere down the line, he'd lost Mokuba’s favour, and it was clearer now… as he had become conscious he had no clue who Mokuba would have been rejected by, and he couldn't begin to guess.

More confounding was his brother’s reaction about Jounouchi. Sure, they were ‘friends’, but Mokuba should… no, would, have understood his feelings before. But now, the two were close, it seemed. Mokuba was cheering him on, defending him. No, that was probably an exaggeration…  Surely, he had just hit a nerve on an already sensitive day. 

Another thought reached out to him.

_But what if… he does get put the project?_  

At the café, he had called out to Jounouchi on impulse, shocking them both, and since then, despite being consistent about ignoring it, the other had hung around the corners of his mind like an agent in the shadows, those wistful looks and silences continuing to feel unsettling. Yet, tonight, he had slandered him, snapping at being called out on his biases. Five years had passed and when thinking more objectively, he knew it was quite possible that Jounouchi had made accomplishments; his motivation and perseverance being unnatural as they were.

Yet, the feeling that it would be a bad idea to have him on the project lingered, and he could not ignore it.

And it wasn't just Jounouchi giving him a bad feeling. It was Yuugi and the others as well. Since he'd noticed that all of them still seemed pretty tight-knit at the cafe, he knew he would most definitely be forced to interact with the common rabble at some point… one way or another. It had been foolish to think otherwise at the café.

And the New Year quickly approached, as did College response deadlines… Mokuba had been considering Switzerland seriously from the beginning, but was elusive about whether or not he would attend. Due to the parting remark, he was sure the scales had tipped out of his favour, and that Mokuba would be out of Domino as soon as they tipped anymore. He couldn't bear that thought. It left a bitter taste on his tongue.

He downed the rest of his drink and chose not to go over the situation again before he got so drunk he could not return to the room.

On his way back, though, when the elevator had reached his floor, raising slightly up and then coming to its stop, something occurred to him to him.

The alcohol-induced flip-flop that happened in his stomach reminded him of a familiar feeling. An odd, uncomfortable feeling from the past. The same feeling he got every time Yuugi had answered him cryptically five years ago, or when Jounouchi's actions always managed to exceed expectation. It was a feeling of motion sickness those two gave him, as if they threatened to sweep him up in an uncontrollable wave and drop him down on an unfamiliar shore.

_A place where Mokuba probably is._   
  
The resistance he felt within him after that idea was stifling.

As much as he wanted to bring he and Mokuba closer, he knew his own limits. Their distance threatened to expand further, and making a decision to take the opportunities to mend it, would be much easier than doing it. Whether it was Yuugi, Jounouchi, or some unrequited love… He knew you could not mix oil with water. Mokuba would continue to slip away from him. His thoughts felt solidified when he arrived back at the hotel room and Mokuba was nowhere to be found, and drunkenly, he acknowledged he had no clue where he had even gone, or who he was even with now.

Uncomfortably warm, he stripped down, and opened the window. After falling into the bed, he tried his hardest to push it all out of his mind, but the alcohol was winning now, and sleep took him to a brief reprieve.

 

**

 

The next morning hit him like a sack of bricks. Its sunshine reaped the hotel bedroom to the corners and he woke feeling like he'd only just closed his eyes a few moments ago, still full of fractured images from dreams he couldn't remember. A thin sweat had broke out on his skin and it attracted the cold December air that rolled into his room without mercy. He was promptly regretful of his decision to open the windows earlier yesterday, and he cursed as he rose from the bed, a shiver racking his spine as the air found its way beneath the thin material of his dress shirt and underwear.

As he made his way to the window, he saw that it had begun to snow. Small flurries clung to the screen that stopped their descent into his room, and they left a light blanket across the city laid out beneath him. If he wasn't so damned cold he might have liked to sit there and look at it for a few more moments but his teeth had started threatening to chatter and he moved to the bathroom instead.  
  
When the taste of alcohol was finally off his palate and he was no longer shivering, he dressed quickly and went into the common area of the hotel room. A tray of breakfast, made up of cold dishes that had presumably already met room temperature, sat on the table waiting for him.   
  
As he ate, he wondered if Mokuba was still upset with him about last night, but he remembered that it hadn't just been him that put the other in the bad mood. Mokuba had been rejected by someone, and Kaiba, in turn, had felt his own sense of rejection at being clueless. The whiskey had made it all the more dramatic, though, sending his thoughts spinning out of control awfully quickly.

A sad, sad day it was when he'd consider being friendly with any of them, let alone consider the possibility of Jounouchi being a capable person. He almost laughed.   
  
When he'd finished eating, he grabbed his phone to take his mind off it. Sliding through the different screens, he settled on the idea that Mokuba had probably already cooled off by now, but shortly into checking his new e-mails, Mokuba rushed out of the second bedroom, fully dressed, his duffle bag in tow. The younger boy threw a glare over his shoulder, and before any words could pass between them he was out of the door.   
  
_Guess he's still upset, then._   
  
A sigh escaped him and he returned to his e-mails, rubbing his temple lightly as he did it. Down the list, he found an email from Ikusawa that had been sent sometime during the early hours of the morning to all the appropriate people involved in the KaibaLand-I.K. Tech collaboration project. Within it was a list of the people who were to be on Ikusawa's proposed team, with their titles, and some brief notes about their qualifications for the project. Jounouchi's name, however, was not listed.

Relief washed over him and he scrolled further down the e-mail. The contact information for I.K. Tech and Ikusawa's phone number and extension were there, as was expected. Lower than that, though, were several reply e-mails between Ikusawa and varying KaibaCorp employees that he didn't bother to read.   
  
He flipped back to the screen of business e-mails, and then back to his personal list. Another e-mail from Ikusawa was on the second page, sent around the same time as the first. Its contents were short and concise, reading: "Discussion has come up about whether or not to include the new employee I mentioned last night. I would like to respectfully request a consultion about including the new employee on the team. I have attached his resume and his portfolio for consideration. I'm sure you will find them impressive. Thank you, and please let me know your decisions when you can."   
  
He didn't open the attachment. The feeling that he already knew whose name would be displayed was so heavy it made him feel sick. He shut the phone off and put it face down on the table, before getting up from the table and getting ready to leave the hotel. There were only two weeks left before January and he did not want to spend his last free days thinking about anything that remotely involved Jounouchi Katsuya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of introspective rambling by Kaiba. It was really enjoyable to write since Kaiba is a complex character but maybe I took too big a risk by keeping the story from his POV.
> 
> Comments and criticism are encouraged! Please follow if you'd like!


	3. Chapter 3

**Late December/ New Years Eve**

 

 **_A_** s the days slid by and the end of the year neared, Kaiba found it much harder to keep his resolve to not focus on work, or Jounouchi. The emails and briefings he received grew each day, each requesting time he didn't want to give, and patience he didn't have, and his largest project had quickly become his biggest concern with Ikusawa's request looming over him, awaiting a decision he couldn't bring himself to make. Besides that, the increased need for Mokuba’s presence, and decisions as Vice President were demanded, but the younger Kaiba had continued further in his spiral.  
  
At the beginning of the week, he had been intent on mending things with Mokuba, and yet, his attempts had never made it through his brother’s callous demeanour. Mokuba continued to be testy with him–his replies shorts, his remarks sarcastic–effectively shutting him out at every turn. He spent most of his time with ‘them’ and when he was around they argued about little things, and avoided larger ones.

The irony, such as it was, was not lost on him. He maybe even felt a tinge of guilt when considering that was his own normal behaviour and so, feeling defeated, he found himself sitting alone on the eve of the New Year in his office, staring into the laptop screen with dry, burning eyes.

Still, it was a good place to be alone, his office. It was a space he created to suit only himself and he was, purposely, a loner. From the pictures on the walls to the pens on his desk, all of the objects were carefully selected to bring him a sense of perfection. A dimly-lit, quiet, sandalwood scented, type of perfection. It was good for working and it was good for brooding, the latter being what Kaiba had ended up doing that evening.

He had opened the email after a week of heavy internal debate, and of course it read: Jounouchi Katsuya, in bold font. His immediate reaction had been to delete the damn thing before it caused him anymore anxiety, but he just couldn't bring himself to trash it. So it sat in his folder, starred, and waiting until he could straighten out his own warring thoughts.

See, it wasn't particularly difficult in theory. The options as they presented themselves to him were: a) let the KaibaCorp-side supervisor for the project look it over and make the decision himself, b) tell the KaibaCorp-side supervisor to pretend to consider it, but say no, anyway, c) say no without considering any further, or d) deal with the situation in the appropriate manner and do a thorough consultation. None of the options were particularly appealing, though, either seeming too cowardly, too unprofessional, or too... nice. Also, he'd come to learn, being a man of strategy and business, all actions have their consequences, and he did not want to deal with anymore than necessary with this project. Or Jounouchi. Or Mokuba, for that matter, who had already made his opinion clear several times within the last two weeks.

He cursed and resisted banging his head off the desk a few times, taking a drink, and going to sleep. If it was anyone else, or any other project he wouldn't even have to be doing this. The idea that Jounouchi could give him this much trouble only reinforced his dislike of giving the other the position, and not to mention...  
  
A light knock at the door called Kaiba's attention away from his veering train of thought, and light started to stream into his office.  
  
"Alright, Seto, I'm leaving now," Mokuba said from the doorway.  
  
"It's late," Kaiba murmured. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to soothe them."I thought you'd already left."  
  
Mokuba rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, my hair isn't perfect like yours."  
  
Kaiba ignored debating whether that was sweet or uncalled for, and took the opportunity to press a bit further. "What are you doing tonight?"  
  
"Yuugi's New Years party," he grumbled, his mood turning standoffish immediately, "I thought I already told you that."  
  
Any other time, Kaiba was sure he would have scoffed and waved his brother away without a second thought but this time, without even the help of whiskey, he found himself feeling differently.  
  
"You didn't," he said pointedly, moving his chair back from his desk.  
  
Mokuba scoffed. "What would be the point? You don't like them anyway. What? Did you want an invite? You'd just say no and even if you did come, you'd probably poison the punch."  
  
Kaiba snorted, but made a mental note of the idea, before standing from his chair. "Wait five more minutes," he insisted. "I'm coming with you."  
  
Mokuba's face dropped, and Kaiba held back a smirk as his younger brother's eyes hardened.  
  
"You don't have to look like that," Kaiba murmured, pushing his way past, "I'll try to be civil."  
  
"Trying isn't good enough," Mokuba called after him but the words fell on deaf ears, Kaiba quickly going into his room.  
  
He stood in front of his closet and steeled himself.

_This is justified._

If he could make it seem like he was on good terms with Yuugi, that was a plus with Mokuba anyway he could imagine. Jounouchi would be there, as well, and maybe it would help him shed some light on his current predicament. No doubt when he got there it would be uncomfortable, he would be unwelcome, but that was expected. The cafe had been a one-sided conversation, and this would be the same. They would all be there, sitting around, drinking and talking cheerily, and he would take them by surprise. He would make his impression by showing up, and then... and then…

 _I shouldn't do this._  
  
"Seto, are you ready yet?" Mokuba's voice came through the door, "Isono's waiting with the car."  
  
Kaiba swallowed hard, but he donned the black turtleneck and returned to his brother. "I'm ready," he said with perfected apathy, "Let's go."  
  
Mokuba followed behind him, fixing him with a suspicious look from when they got into the car together until the car slid to a stop. Kaiba had ignored it, hoping the ride would ease the tension, but Mokuba reached out to hold the door handle shut from Isono and he could ignore it no longer.

"Seriously, Seto, if you go in there, I don't know what to expect from you."

"I'm not going to poison anyone," Kaiba assured before reaching out to move his brother's hand from the door handle.  
  
"Then why are you coming?!" Mokuba asked, his hand unbudging, his voice getting loud.

Kaiba bit the inside of his cheek as his mind raced for an acceptable answer but it became painfully clear to the both of them that he did not have one to give. He just hoped that his feelings would be felt somehow. A beat passed and finally, Mokuba relinquished his hold on the door, and got out.  
  
He sighed. _One disaster avoided._   
  
As he got out of the car, he let his long legs take full strides to beat Mokuba to the door. He just couldn't handle the thought of how he would look, standing there behind Mokuba like he needed some sort of approval to go in. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it immediately.

He rang the buzzer and got ready for Yuugi. After a moment, the door opened, followed by a wave of sound and Jounouchi, dressed in a baggy black sweater. The red scarf that Mokuba had bought for him was draped around the back of his neck. Immediately, he wished he had stayed home–or at least taken that drink.  
  
"Kaiba?"   
  
They locked eyes for one excruciating second before Jounouchi's eyes darted away.   
  
"Uh, come in," Jounouchi said, although it sounded like more of a question to Kaiba, and he opened the door wider.   
  
Mokuba rushed by them, knocking into them both, and stalked off into the house, leaving Kaiba alone. He bit back the feeling of annoyance. He should have already figured that Mokuba had been here multiple times so he would know his way around, at the least... but it was still aggravating.   
  
"Teenagers, huh?" Jounouchi offered awkwardly, before opening the door all the way and stepping back to let Kaiba in.   
  
But Kaiba found that he could not move into the house like he was supposed to. The picture he'd envisioned in his mind of five people sitting around counting the time down together was gone, ripped up shred by shred as he looked around in front of him. Instead he saw, what he could only assume was, everyone that Yuugi had probably ever befriended in Domino City spread out across the house. They sat around in little groups, talking, looking at pictures, laughing, and even though the door was wide open, no one seemed to notice him which made it feel even more surreal.

An overwhelming wave of anxiety crashed down on him.  
  
"Kaiba," Jounouchi called from beside him but upon having no answer, he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.   
  
"Kaiba," he said, his voice louder this time.   
  
With the crowd of people gone and Jounouchi close now, his voice harsh and demanding, Kaiba finally realized that he had froze.   
  
"You good or what?" Jounouchi asked, looking more irritated than concerned.   
  
Kaiba fixed him with a hard look. "I'm fine," he lied.   
  
“... Mhm.”

There was a small stretch of silence, where Kaiba stood silently (looking tall and awkward, he was sure) and could only watch Jounouchi, who seemed to be thinking with a soft expression.   
  
"Come to the back then," Jounouchi instructed suddenly, starting to walk that way, "You can use the door there. Last I checked that's where the other shut-ins were hanging out."   
  
He wanted to say something about being called a shut-in but he squashed it in order to show his own gratitude for the accommodation. They walked in silence to the back of the house, and when Jounouchi rounded the corner, he saw him pull out a shiny blue box from his pocket. A pack of cigarettes, he was informed a moment later when he turned the corner as well.

"You can go in," Jounouchi said, pointing to the door.

His eyes settled on it, but the image of all those people came rushing back and he knew he couldn't. Seeing everyone sitting there, getting along like that, made him feel more uncomfortable than anything else he dealt with on a daily basis did. He liked his parties dry and formal; the way he liked his life. He didn't have friends and he liked it that way. He didn't want to sit around and chat, or gossip, or exchange photos. Keeping up on other people's lives or sharing his thoughts and feelings with them…

 _It’s a hassle_.

It didn't matter how much Mokuba meant to him, this was an uncomfortable a step for him to take... and somehow, he knew standing there watching Jounouchi smoke a cigarette was better than going in there unprepared.

He looked back to Jounouchi, who had settled into the wall of the house, a lit cigarette between his fingers, a deep drag in his lungs, ignoring his lingering presence, staring off into a far corner of the sky. Silently, he moved to stand against the wall with him, praying for the other's silence–and surprisingly, for a minute or so, Jounouchi just stayed against the wall, smoking, and said nothing. Only the tiny crackling of the cigarette being pulled, and the light sound of the blonde blowing smoke out punctuated the silence between them.  
  
"Mokuba force you to be here, too?" Jounouchi asked suddenly and it made Kaiba flinch.   
"Don't talk so casually," Kaiba quipped back quickly, his eyes moving to the ground.   
  
"You're standing next to _me_ , in case ya forgot," Jounouchi said flatly.   
  
Kaiba's mouth twitched and he continued to stare at the ground.   
  
"Y'know... if you don't wanna go in that's cool. I can cover for you."   
  
He listened to Jounouchi shift on the wall and take another drag off the cigarette. His stomach flip-flopped at the words and he looked away from the ground to the man beside him. Jounouchi was looking back at him, and Kaiba found himself feeling appreciative again.   
  
The distance between them at the cafe had not properly conveyed the new aesthetic Jounouchi had gained. Now, the other's eyes were more serious and his hair was maybe even a bit more tame. His features were still too sharp for anyone of Asian descent which gave him a rough look, but he seemed to have grown into them now. The lines of his neck and collarbone ran strong beneath the sweater’s low neckline and he found himself drawn in, trailing the subtle line of his throat.   
  
"Hey," Jounouchi said again, moving so that he could make eye contact with the other. "Get it together, Kaiba. I'm saying you can leave."   
  
He huffed, and turned his eyes away. "I don't need you to tell me if I can leave."   
  
"You're the one who keeps spacin' out," Jounouchi retorted and returned to his cigarette.   
  
"I'm going to go in," Kaiba ground out, his voice low. "... But not yet."   
  
Jounouchi made a rough sound of understanding from behind his cigarette and Kaiba was thankful that he did not continue to talk to him. His throat felt tight, and his eyes were burning again.   
  
"Okay, well, I'm going to the store.”

He threw his cigarette down, and stepped on it. Kaiba finally understood then, why he had opened the door to them instead of Yuugi.   
  
"If you're gonna go in, you might want to do it soon before-"   
  
"I'm going," Kaiba said promptly and stood up off the wall.   
  
Jounouchi gave him a perplexed look. Kaiba reflexively mocked him, and Jounouchi took a step back before snickering.   
  
"God, you're being weird today," the blond sighed, before pushing off the wall and starting to walk away.   
  
When he was finally alone, he threw himself back into the wall and let out a groan, his eyes going up past the roof to the black winter sky. The new silence felt empty, and he became aware that he was trembling ever so slightly. A few unnerving minutes with Jounouchi had managed to feel like a life sentence. He hadn't even able to mention the project.

_Instead, I just stared at his neck like a vampire._

The thought brought an uncomfortable heat to his cheeks, and again, he wished he had not come, or that he had taken a drink. However this was about to go down, he knew it would be too much to hope for a quick, painless end to this month.

 _At least I have this moment to myself. A few mental pushes and–_   
  
"You're still out here?" 

"I was thinking," he hissed, throwing a glare at the blond who had appeared once again.  
  
"You think too much. There's nothing to be nervous about."   
  
He bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm not nervous."   
  
"Of course not," Jounouchi chimed amiably, moving closer. "Then you won't mind a few stares or whispers. That's normal for you, I'd guess."   
  
Kaiba watched him while he talked, looking at the red scarf, wondering why his words were gentle, how close he was with Mokuba, if he had come to the back door again just to find him again.   
  
"Just sit and drink. If nothing else, Yuugi and Mokuba will be glad you stuck around. If that matters to ya, I mean-"   
  
"Jounouchi,”

“ Wha-”

“You talk too much.”  
  
Jounouchi glared at him, opened his mouth again but then, seemed to decide against. He shook his head and huffed before walking past Kaiba to the door and Kaiba watched him move, feeling both settled and apprehensive at his words. He knew that he was probably right, and that, again, he should be grateful. It was better this way. If Yuugi had answered the door, he was sure he would have been thrown right into the mix and introduced to everyone all at once.

' _Hey everyone, Kaiba's here!'_

That would have been a hell worse than three minutes with Jounouchi.  
  
"I'm not gonna babysit you all night, y'know," Jounouchi grumbled as he started to open the door. "Hurry your ass up, I'm freezin'."   
  
_No one told you to wait_ , Kaiba snarked in head, but he followed him into the house anyway.   
  
The first thing he noticed when he stepped in through the threshold was how hot it was. So many bodies on a single floor were bound to raise the temperature, but it wrapped around him and it made him feel sick. As if on cue, Jounouchi shoved a cold beer his way. If he had known that was the last he time he would see Jounouchi under normal circumstances for the rest of the night, he would have said thank you... or at least considered it. Instead, he just took it from him and watched him as he walked back out the door, slamming it behind him.

After a moment of reluctance, he slipped his shoes off.  
  
The kitchen was empty, except for Anzu who was sitting on the counter, fiddling with her phone until she noticed him. She offered him an awkward smile. Not surprisingly, he could not bring himself to smile back and she went back to her phone.   
  
Yuugi came around the corner shortly, looking towards the door but quickly, he noticed Kaiba. He took one look and promptly asked, "Are you okay?" like it was becoming some sort of greeting people were expected to give him.   
  
"I'm hot.”   
  
"Oh," Yuugi whispered, looking sheepish. "Well, the fans are upstairs right now. Do you want to go?"   
  
After a moment's hesitation, Kaiba nodded and watched Yuugi leave towards the stairs but before he could follow, there was a hand on his arm. The physical contact made him bristle and he whipped around to see Anzu standing behind him, a concerned look on her face.   
  
He fixed her with a cold look but her expression persisted.   
  
"I know you get off on being a jerk but you need to be careful," Anzu said, her voice quiet as if she was telling him a secret, "Yuugi hasn't been the same since Atem left and Jounouchi-"   
  
Kaiba moved his arm away from her hand roughly and saw her look of shock, but ignored it, and moved in the direction that Yuugi had went, but it left him unsettled. He went up the stairs and into a room on his left that had a kotatsu, and a fan in the corner that Yuugi had turned on for him before kneeling in front of the table. He realized he was supposed to sit on the floor, too, but he had not done so since before Gozaburo adopted him.   
  
"Sorry, I'll go get a chair," Yuugi said, seeing how he did not sit but instead fixed the floor with a confused expression.   
  
"It's fine," Kaiba said back icily. _I just don't know whether to kneel or sit cross-legged._   
  
Both seemed strange, but he chose to kneel in front of the table the way Yuugi was doing. It made for a more graceful way down.   
  
"Sorry," Yuugi apologized again, "It must be awkward for you. I would have done more if I knew you were planning to come."   
  
"I wasn't," Kaiba said truthfully. "I only came to try and make things right with Mokuba."   
  
Yuugi nodded and stretched his arms out across his side of the table, putting his head down on one of them in a way that made Kaiba think of him as a sleepy child.   
  
"I think things will be okay," Yuugi murmured quietly, his voice sincere, "You didn't have to come here to make things right."   
  
Kaiba arched an eyebrow at him. "How do you know?"   
  
Yuugi looked at him and blinked twice. "He's my friend."   
  
"You say that like it's the answer to the universe.”   
  
"Not the universe... but probably this world," Yuugi teased, and closed his eyes.   
  
Kaiba found himself smirking despite himself. Five years ago, he was sure Yuugi would have been offended... The Pharoah would have called him an unbeliever. They would have all barged in and tried to lynch him for desecrating their holy friendship.   
  
_Displacement_.

There was that feeling again. He had not kept up with them, and he could not understand them anymore. Mokuba's infatuation with the group, Anzu's warning, Jounouchi's attitude change... A part of him wanted to ask Yuugi... but how would one go about asking that sort of question?   
  
"Are you feeling cooler now?"   
  
Kaiba nodded and noticed his feet were falling asleep.   
  
"I'm glad," Yuugi said, and paused before starting again, "I'm glad we can sit in the same room after all this time and it feels normal."   
  
“Does it?”

The sentiment wasn't lost on him. It didn't feel quite as horrible as he imagined, anyway. Of course it was strange to be together under these circumstances, but it was easy to be calm when it was only the two of them and the circumstances did not involve saving the world or another person. At least, he respected Yuugi as an duelist and an individual.  
  
"Hey, Kaiba?”

He grabbed the beer again, preparing himself. Things that started with ‘Hey, Kaiba’ were always uncomfortable no matter who said it. He expressed his readiness with a hand gesture, and took a drink as the other started.

“The other day, at the cafe... I know you didn't want to be there but you stayed... I thought for sure you would stand up and make a scene and leave but you stayed." Yuugi gave a breathless laugh.  
  
Kaiba arched an eyebrow in distaste. "What are you trying to say?"   
  
Yuugi's face tensed, then relaxed, so fast it was almost imperceptible. Kaiba did not like it one bit.   
  
"When everybody left… Jounouchi stayed back, didn't he? Did you guys talk at all?"   
  
"No," he said simply, trying not remember,"He rambled a bit but I wasn't really listening. Then he left."   
  
"Oh," Yuugi breathed into his sleeve.   
  
"Your point?" Kaiba pressed impatiently.   
  
Yuugi drew his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it for a few moments. "It's just... we aren't that close anymore. To be honest, none of us really are. I just thought..."   
  
Kaiba watched him think, wondering now if the cafe had been more ‘for old time’s sake’ than he thought. Still, Mokuba had been so excited… His heart dropped when he wondered if Mokuba had known about this deterioration, or had simply stumbled into it as he just had.   
  
"Never mind. I guess he wouldn't say anything to you, anyway."   
  
Kaiba looked back down to the table and watched the sweat drip down the bottle of beer before deciding to let Yuugi talk to him. It was the least he could do, after what they'd been through, and he was still trying to convince Mokuba everything was peachy, anyway.   
  
"Did you and Jounouchi have a fight?" he asked, the words coming out slow and awkward.

Thinking back again, the two hadn't even talked at the cafe. They hadn't seen each for five years… but they hadn't even looked at each other, had they?  
  
"Not a fight," Yuugi said softly, "We were just busy. We didn't talk..."   
  
Kaiba fixed him with an unimpressed look, seeing through the excuses easily. If they were going to talk, which he was graciously allowing moreover, he wouldn't be lied to.   
  
Understanding, Yuugi clarified, looking sheepish. "We did have a disagreement once. At the airport the day that he left. I was still dealing with losing Atem, and it hurt that he was leaving…” Yuugi took a shaky breath, as if just mentioning it was painful. “I ended up saying some regrettable things...”

Kaiba drank a bit more now, regretting this conversation already.

“... But I didn't think he would take it so seriously. He stopped messaging and things got awkward. I thought I'd figure out what to say when the time was right, but I didn't. I still haven't."   
  
Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose, and closed his eyes. "You sound stupid," he complained, gaining Yuugi's attention, "What ever happened to friends forever and all that nonsense?”

"We will always be friends,” Yuugi lamented, “But it was… important," he said firmly, sitting up straight, looking straight at him now. "It was really important then.”   
  
"But does it matter now?"   
  
Yuugi broke the eye contact and fumbled with his shirt sleeve again. "I don't know," He mumbled weakly. "That's why I asked you."   
  
Kaiba opened his mouth to ask why it would make any sense to ask him, but he suddenly realized that if it was something strong enough to break apart Yuugi and Jounouchi, he probably did not want to hear about it anyway.   
  
"Then forget it. You're either friends or you're not."   
  
Yuugi looked pained, but stayed silent.

Kaiba held in a sigh. He knew he had initiated it, but this was not a conversation he was meant to have. Whether or not it actually involved him in some way this information was not for his ears, it was just because Yuugi was too scared to confront Jounouchi himself.  
  
"You know, you could do it, though," Yuugi said, looking at him with intense eyes. "You can ask him for me. Ask him what really matters now. I'm sure he’ll answer you.”   
  
Kaiba's brain fizzled out for a moment, caught off guard, but the irritation rose up inside of him quickly. He glared at Yugi, the smaller man's whole aura having changed in that instant a way that made him equal parts irked and uncomfortable.   
  
"I didn't ask to be a part of whatever this is," he told him flatly, "I don't care about your problems."   
  
Yuugi's expression remained, laced with a brooding intensity, but it suddenly broke and Yuugi looked at him with shock. As if he suddenly realized what he had been saying, he shook his head hard.

Kaiba shifted, trying to get the feeling back into his feet so he could get up and leave.   
  
"I'm sorry," Yuugi said after another moment. "I didn't mean to involve you… I shouldn't have involved you. I probably made things worse..."   
  
Kaiba thought he looked like he was going to cry and it made him more uncomfortable. He shifted again.   
  
"I hope you fix things with Mokuba," Yuugi continued murmuring. "You've always wanted what was best for him... even if it meant dying to do it. I don't have any hard feelings against you... I just can't stand the distance between everyone now."   
  
Kaiba let out a grunt, wiggling his feet underneath him as they started to come back to life with painful pins-and-needles. A welcome feeling, at this point.   
  
"I wish I could help more," Yuugi continued still, filling him with ire. “But, Mokuba is mad at me, also. He-"   
  
"I don't want to hear anything else," Kaiba said firmly before Yuugi could expand. Especially not if it concerned Mokuba.   
  
Finally, he stood up, leaving his beer on the table. "Resolve whatever's plaguing the lot of you. It's starting to make me nauseous."   
  
Yuugi just looked up at him silently and nodded, watching as Kaiba took his leave and went back down the stairs to the kitchen.

There was no further reason for him to stay. He wouldn't enter the party to find Mokuba, and he didn't want to talk to any of them now. Thankfully, Anzu was not sitting there anymore, and the kitchen was empty. He was grateful for that. He could hear the sounds of people laughing coming from behind the sliding doors that led to the front of the house and it made him clench his jaw when he thought about Mokuba. He hoped at least that he was having fun, and that Yuugi would come back from whatever was haunting him.  
  
He walked over to the back door, and grabbed his shoes. As he slipped the first one on, he heard a loud crash behind him and he turned to see Honda bracing himself against the wall, and Jounouchi standing on the stairs with a furious expression on his face. They both noticed him at the same time and the realization was clear on their faces. Perhaps, in a different dimension, it would have been comical, but he quickly realized that if they had been upstairs as well, they probably heard everything.   
  
Honda got up off of the wall, brushing his clothes off. "Let's just finish getting drunk, Jou."   
  
Jounouchi nodded, before looking to Kaiba again, and then turning to go back up the stairs.   
  
"Jounouchi," Kaiba called out, as he fixed his other shoe onto his foot. He waited for the other to turn around, ignoring Honda's look, which reminded him of a guard-dog. "Outside," he ordered before opening the door and walking out.   
  
Jounouchi joined him after a minute, in socked feet, looking like he was about to be a victim. Kaiba gestured for him to close the door, and when Jounouchi did it, he leaned back against the wall like earlier.   
  
"What's the deal?" Jounouchi asked, his hands going to either arm making him look lame and cold.   
  
"You need to talk to Yuugi," Kaiba said firmly, although, he wasn't quite sure why he was even involving himself in the matter. Maybe it was guilt, or maybe he was actually convinced he could help. He couldn't tell. "I don't care what's going on with you two, but fix it."   
  
Jounouchi's face tightened, and for once, he looked like he could not decide on the right words to say.

 _Is it really that difficult of a situation?_   
  
"Apparently," he started in again, feeling the way he did when he had no other choice but to negotiate when in tense business meetings, "He thought I could help. So I'm helping. Make up with him, or cut him loose."   
  
"You're helping?" Jounouchi asked, his voice laced with disbelief, "How? Like how you’re helping by ignoring Ikusawa?"   
  
Kaiba cut his eyes at him. "That's not relevant."   
  
Jounouchi gave a dry laugh. "Do you even know what this is _about_ ?”   
  
“No.” _Not at all._   
  
Jounouchi looked simultaneously relieved, and indignant. Only a look the blond could pull off, Kaiba was sure.   
  
“Look, Kaiba. Sorry Yuugi got you caught up in this but it's over now, okay?"   
  
"Is it?" Kaiba asked, then feigning sincerity he said, "He seemed _certain_ I could help.”

Jounouchi glared at him, and as became aware of his internal trembling again, he was amazed by the nostalgia just a simple look could make him feel.

"What was it that you said? Some things are better left unspoken? Let's just stick with that."   
  
Kaiba watched him as he opened the door and disappeared. When the door slammed, he shrugged, his first feeling towards the situation being to detach immediately and resume indifference.   
  
_Let them have their secrets_ , he thought rationally, before turning and going back around the side of the house to the street. He felt for his phone in his back pocket and pulled it out. 11:15 PM. He frowned at the realization that he would never get those hours of his life back, and would probably waste more trying to quell the aftermath of it all.   
  
Mentally, he apologized to Mokuba, as he scrolled for Isono's number.

He wished he asked Yuugi what he meant when he said, 'you didn't need to come here to make things right' instead of asking him how he knew that, but it was too late now. Saying those things to Yuugi, and engaging Jounouchi... it was possible he had just made things with Mokuba more difficult.  
  
But now, as he stood on the sidewalk, listening to the phone ring in his ear, he realized another thing. Some development–a revelation, dare he say–that he'd long been ignoring was revealing itself to him. He didn't have to be worried. They were just as fucked up as the rest of the world, and that… that was a great end to this month. Not only that, he realized, but also Jounouchi. He was actually pretty impressed by the other, and before Isono arrived, he had already decided that Jounouchi's portfolio was worth a glance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four, for those who desire it!  
> Kinda small, but I really enjoyed writing it.

**Early January**

 

**_I_ ** .K. Tech sat on the outskirts of Domino–a large, grey, two-story building that had previously been a factory, and still looked it. The architecture was uninspiring, to say the least, and had not changed since the time he had come last year. He felt himself feeling similarly about the people walking in and out of the front lobby. Usually he liked perfectly coiffed automatons, he employed some of his own, after all, but today, he was feeling unusually dissatisfied. Probably because of the reason he was even here.   
  
Thankfully, the secretary was dressed in a bright red outfit in the horrible grey that surrounded him, and when she said, “Welcome to I.K. Tech, Mr. Kaiba. Mr. Ikusawa will be with you shortly," he even thought about smiling.   
  
In the end, he had only nodded, but she seemed pleased enough just with that. His assistant, however, had smiled and bowed, and then had struck up a light conversation which Kaiba only allowed because it broke up the monotony. After a moment, however, his assistant came sliding back looking lovestruck and he regretted his moment of leniency. He needed no more distractions than necessary. He was already grappling with his decisions thus far, with his findings.   
  
“She’s nice,”

_ She’s paid to be _ , he thought about saying, but he let it go, and looked at the files the man was holding.

One of them was Jounouchi’s portfolio, which he had scanned several times in the last week, looking for flaws first, then unnecessaries, then improvements. He had talked to as many references as possible–professors, project managers, previous employers–and no matter how many he called, they all said the same things: Jounouchi was a determined student and a great worker that they had encouraged to work on bigger projects, which he always did exceptionally well on. However, while everyone consulted awed over the potential–and Mokuba continued waving his banner–they also noted that he had a lack of experience in large-scale projects, so they couldn’t help him beyond that. He had to do it himself.

The only glaring thing was a lack of a masters, but he had the licenses and the certificates, and apparently, a thesis piece. In the end, he had only a handful of critical remarks, and a horrible, sinking feeling that he had been proved wrong, or duped.   
  
_ Told you so _ , Mokuba’s voice chimed in his mind.   
  
_ I need to see it for myself. _   
  
Artists might spent months or years perfecting a piece before including it in a professional portfolio. Engineers were no different, he reasoned. Still, if it was just about the work and not the man behind it, he had to admit he was intrigued. All of it was modern and minimalist, geared towards efficiency and simplification, but the ideas  _ were _ complex upon further inspection. It could be true, that Jounouchi’s mind would be a good addition to the team… but he still held his last sliver of doubt like a lifeline.   
  
He had come personally, unlike last year when he merely approved messages, so that while he was assessing the team, their initial ideas, and progress, he would be able to assess Jounouchi, as well. Then maybe he would grasp how Jounouchi had accomplished so much so quickly and whether he was worth having or not.

_ Really _ ,  _ it’s all a hassle _ .

“Oh, Mr. Kaiba!”   
  
“Ikusawa,” he greeted, spotting him at the elevator bank.   
  
“I-I'm flattered you came personally.”   
  
He certainly looked flattered, but Kaiba waved a hand dismissively as he got closer. “It settles two matters at once.”   
  
Ikusawa rubbed his cheek thoughtfully and gave a smile. “Your reputation doesn't do you justice.”   
  
In the elevator, Ikusawa inserted a keycard, pressed a button that said B3, and the lift descended. Kaiba understood immediately. The business levels were above, and the labs were below. So... the building wasn't quite as boring as he previously thought. Maybe this day would turn out differently as well.

When the elevator reached the third below-ground level, Ikusawa led them through a large hallway, lined above with spotlights, until they reached their destination. A row of glass windows let them see into a large room, with many different machines, and many more computers, as well as a large table with many papers and a few blueprints. Around the room were ten of the eleven people who made up the KaibaCorp-I.K. Tech team.   
  
What caught his immediate attention was in the centre of the room–a prototype from what he could tell. The pod and track took up a significant amount of space.   
  
“They were not aware I was coming, correct?”   
  
Ikusawa shook his head. “No, no. Probably better that way, really, we have some skittish ones and they'd be under so much pressure if they knew you actually-”   
  
“It's fine,” Kaiba interrupted, raising a hand about chest-height. He watched Ikusawa fold. He pointed to the prototype. “Tell me about that.”   
  
“Oh! Well, the team we have has turned out to be very ambitious!” Ikusawa seemed to glow. “It’s a maglev coaster pod.”   
  
He tilted his head slightly, examining the machine more closely, feeling nostalgia pull at him. Five years ago, he had dabbled in the idea of a maglev pod for one of his more successful rides. Dragon’s Flight. However, he had never shared the idea and he had forgot it, in favour of his VR projects… Remembering it now, after all this time...   
  
His assistant piped up. “Whose idea was it?”   
  
Ikusawa pointed through the glass to Jounouchi, who sat at a computer bank, in a full blue jumpsuit, biting a pen. “It’s very much the love-child of the new guy and our head tech.”   
  
Kaiba turned to glare at him, but Ikusawa wasn't aware of his feelings or his look, and he realized how unprofessional that would have been of him. He smoothed himself out quickly.   
  
“Your team was very interested, as well,” Ikusawa continued cheerfully. “Of course, it comes later but I thought you would appreciate it.”   
  
Ikusawa began to fill him in on the more immediate work, and his assistant took notes while he watched through the glass. Still on edge, his interest went to Jounouchi, who had stood up from the computer bank and went over to two other men. They all began to bicker.   
  
“They're arguing,” Kaiba stated, feeling his hope slither back.   
  
Ikusawa laughed nervously. “Well, they all have a lot of… spunk, and a lot of ideas. The new guy tends to get irritated quickly. It was a concern in the beginning.”   
  
Kaiba nodded. He quickly inferred that they were arguing about some coding, or formulas, and he watched intently as Jounouchi listened to them, said something which seemed to fire the other two machinists up some more, then typed something into a console. The two men seemed to bite back their words, and after a second, they began chuckling.   
  
Kaiba’s hope sank like a ship with a hull breach.   
  
“The team seems to be managing well,” he managed, albeit reluctantly.   
  
_ Jounouchi was always that type of person, _ he conceded sourly. Irritating in a way you just can't bring yourself to hate.   
  
Again, his assistant: “Is the tech in here today?”   
  
Ikusawa shook his head. “Family emergency. She was on the team last year, however. Naoki, if you remember.”   
  
“Then I want to talk to him about the machine,” Kaiba said promptly, shocking Ikusawa and his assistant, and partly himself. “Call him out.”   
  
Ikusawa opened his mouth and then closed it again before opening it once more, “Right here? I think, maybe...”   
  
Kaiba frowned slightly, but he understood. Not everyone liked a scene as much as he.

“I'd like to borrow him then,” he said, a mental vision of him and Jounouchi ending up at each other’s throats in front of Ikusawa coming to him. “My assistant will stay with you to finish the planned assessments.”   
  
“Sure, take all the time you need,” Ikusawa agreed, and gestured for them to move back to the elevators. “I'll just have the secretary call him up and get you an empty meeting room... Will you also be deciding whether or not to officially include him on the team?”   
  
Kaiba took Jounouchi's portfolio from his assistant with a snatch. “I'll have my decisions emailed later today.”   
  
Ikusawa nodded and ushered them into the elevator, then the main lobby, before he went over the scarlet-clad secretary and asked for her to call Jounouchi up. Then he came back to Kaiba.   
  
“I'll just be taking him then. The secretary will see you two to the room.”   
  
Shortly after the two had disappeared, the next set of elevators opened, and Jounouchi appeared, having lost his jumpsuit. Now in a plain grey tee and jeans, Kaiba could not stop his eyes from doing a quick once-over, trying to get a good look at the other without some type of thick sweater on. Jounouchi did not see him, and looked towards the secretary who smiled and gestured to Kaiba. He cleared the hazy look from his face in record time, just before their eyes met.   
  
“Kaiba?”   
  
_ Get it together _ , he chided himself.   
  
“Jounouchi."   
  
The other gave him a scrutinizing look, but then looked away, and nodded a little. “Uh, thank you for allowing me to stay."   
  
“You haven't made it, yet,” Kaiba said coldly.   
  
Jounouchi gave him a pained look. “What now? You want me to grovel or somethin’?”   
  
“Not during business hours, preferably," he scoffed, and held up the portfolio. “I want to talk about your work.”   
  
Jounouchi suddenly grinned at him impishly. “Impressed, huh?”   
  
Kaiba only offered him a scathing look, before he looked to the secretary who told them to where to go. With Jounouchi behind him, they walked down a short hallway, and into a small conference room with six chairs. After Jounouchi sat, he closed the door behind them and went to the table.   
  
He realized that never in the all time he had spent calculating and considering had he ever envisioned this being a reality. With a small sigh, he took a seat, opening the folder. He pulled out a three page file, and after a long, agonizing moment of waiting for the other, he spoke.   
  
“Tell me about this project.”   
  
Jounouchi shifted in his chair, seeming uncomfortable despite the determined look on his face. “It's work I did at Tokyo’s KaibaLand. There was a project I asked to be on to troubleshoot that ride. I ended up fixing the problem.”   
  
Kaiba fixed him with a hard look. “How?”   
  
Jounouchi made a face back. “No need to be irritated."   
  
Kaiba bit the inside of his cheek. “I'm not irritated,” he lied.   
  
Jounouchi furrowed his brows. “Then why am I here?”   
  
“Exactly as I said, to talk about your work.”   
  
Jounouchi gave a groan, and let his head fall back. Kaiba waited, silently, following the lines of open neck into his shirt, before catching himself and looking at the papers in front of him. Finally, there was a sigh and Jounouchi looked back to him, and explained it to him, in a terse but civil manner.   
  
Unconvinced, he took out another file. “What about this one?”   
  
Again, Jounouchi answered, and Kaiba listened, but he caught himself trying to imagine him without the shirt about ten words in. Thankfully, the other didn't seem to notice at all, caught up in his explanations and by the time Jounouchi was done, Kaiba was feeling a quiet mix of arousal and shame, but at least, he was confident Jounouchi knew what he was talking about.   
  
“Alright. There's a maglev prototype downstairs. Ikusawa said you and Naoki created it?”   
  
The blond nodded. “Yeah, but she's not here today.”   
  
“It's an ambitious project,” Kaiba murmured.   
  
Jounouchi shrugged, and frowned. “It’s a concept right now.”   
  
Kaiba did not appreciate the sentiment behind that remark. Whether it was modesty, nonchalance, or personal reservation, he wasn't sure, but it didn't sit well with him. Jounouchi was supposed to be the type of person who was always foolishly confident and excited. Where was that right now?   
  
Curious, he pressed further. “Which of you had the idea?”   
  
“Me, I guess,” he mumbled, rubbing his neck. Kaiba thought he was almost reddening. “I thought about it back at the KaibaLand in Tokyo. There’s this ride-"   
  
_ No _ .   
  
"-It would be perfect for. Anyway, it’s a good idea, don't ya think?”   
  
Kaiba found his teeth in his cheek once more. He refused to believe that, even for a second, they’d had the same vision. It was impossible. Jounouchi wasn't allowed to do that. He wasn't allowed to invade his mind anymore than just being unnervingly attractive. He couldn't handle the thought.   
  
Resisting the urge to choke the other from across the table, he felt his fingers twitch, and he realized he needed to shut this conversation down before Jounouchi said anything else he didn't want to hear.   
  
He closed up the portfolio hurriedly and set it aside. “You know I'm here to assess you, right?”   
  
Jounouchi’s expression soured. “Don't you have a company to run instead of ‘evaluating’ little old me? What’s your issue anyway?”   
  
“KaibaLand is a project that I spent my entire life on, Jounouchi,” he said sternly, “And it has been running under my direct supervision for over ten years. Ikusawa saw potential, but he's much more lenient than I am. You’re a risk to this project.”   
  
Jounouchi looked unconvinced. “Why?”   
  
“You mean besides your lack of experience in large-scale projects? Or your general lack of time in the field?”   
  
“I’m not some hack,” Jounouchi argued, “All I've done the past five years is devote myself to this. This has been all I've lived and breathed since I left Domino. I spent all my time studying, in seminars, or making connections. Trying my hardest to be included in projects so I would have more practical experience than anyone who graduated with me. And I  _ do _ . And better ideas. Obviously.”   
  
“Well, unfortunately, this is still a KC project, and considering the relationship you have with my brother, our previous encounters, not to mention your behaviour at New Years–”   
  
“That has nothing to do with this,” Jounouchi said sternly. “I got here on my own, and I have the right to tell you to back out of my personal business, don't I? What's your issue with me?”   
  
Kaiba clutched the papers tightly, not caring if Jounouchi noticed the sound of them crumpling. He fixed him with a good, cold look.

“My issue with you has been, and always will be, your  _ presence _ .”   
  
Jounouchi put his mouth in a tight line, and Kaiba could tell from the way his jaw flexed that he was trying not to come undone. He waited, calling it out, needing it to come but Jounouchi held himself together tightly. He did not explode, nor did he leap across the table, or stand up and start shouting. In another second, Jounouchi merely forced his composure.   
  
“I apologize.”   
  
Kaiba felt himself snap. The kind of silent, dangerous snap that came with a mental break, and he watched, rendered mute by his own emotions, as Jounouchi reached across and took the portfolio from his tight grip. He laid the rest of the papers on the table, but Kaiba refused to look.   
  
“We have never been on good terms, but this,” Jounouchi said, gesturing to the files, his voice sharp yet imploring, “Is not a slight against you, Kaiba. I may not be the person you want on this, but I’m the person you  _ need _ . Whatever I have to do to prove it to you, I’ll do it. Let me convince you.”   
  
Every word sent him spinning further. It made sense. It made a perfect amount of sense, but it was coming from the wrong mouth, and it made his heart beat so loud he could heart it in his ears. He looked at the files, remembering his interest, the words of his professors. He looked back at Jounouchi, who was staring at him with a serious expression. For some reason, his brown eyes seemed black. Bottomless.   


“Convince me?” His voice held none of the conviction he had intended.

Jounouchi nodded. “I know you're not the type of person who would waste their time assessin’ someone, then come all the way down here, and do all this to just throw it out. If that's what you really wanted, you would have thrown it out immediately.”   
  
Kaiba frowned, and reserved his right to stay silent, afraid of what his voice might sound like now.   
  
“Kaiba,” Jounouchi pressed.   
  
“The maglev,” he said suddenly, already regretting his train of thought, but feeling swept up in his own ridiculous current, “If you have a working prototype in six months, I’ll let you finish the project. If you don't, I’ll drop you.  _ Personally _ .”   
  
Jounouchi gave him a hard look. “And that would be the end of me, huh?”   
  
Kaiba waved a hand in a flippant gesture, finally calming down. “Convince me, was it?”   
  
“Of course,” Jounouchi quipped back quickly, and stood from the table, extending his hand.   
  
Kaiba smirked and rose to meet him, taking the hand with a firm grip.   
  
Jounouchi smiled wickedly back at him, and returned the grip. A shot of electricity shot up his arm, and his own smile faded, while Jounouchi’s continued. He pulled his hand back, but for a fraction of a second, Jounouchi held him there and he wasn't even sure why noticed it. It was so brief. In all honesty, it might have been an accident, because then Jounouchi released him just as fast and the contact was gone.   
  
“Thank you for the opportunity,  _ Mr _ . Kaiba.”   
  
He pulled his hand back, curling his fingers into a fist, and felt his stomach tighten. He retained his outward apathy with effort, and collected the portfolio in silence.  _ I'm just looking forward to having you fired _ , was all he really wanted to say, but he stayed silent as he let them both out of the room, feeling like he had dirtied himself in some inconceivable way, and didn't have the right. Maybe it was that smile. Or the handshake. Something. There was something but he couldn't put his finger on it.   
  
At the elevators, Jounouchi turned to look at him.   
  
“I want to be on good terms.”   
  
His tone was genuine but Kaiba could feel somehow the words were picked carefully. He cut him a side-glance, knowing that was impossible. Even now, he wanted nothing but to chuck the other out on the sidewalk, but he had been… bested. Jounouchi was shining in front of him, and he could do nothing now that the challenge had left his mouth but let him.   
  
“I remember telling you not to speak to me so casually,” he muttered, as the elevator doors opened.   
  
“Well, stop standing next to me then,” Jounouchi snickered as they entered together.   
  
Kaiba pressed the floor button with a hard enough jab, that it hurt his finger, and Jounouchi cautiously inserted his card, as the doors closed.   
  
After a moment, he saw the other fix him with a strange look. It was one of kindness, and it made him balk. It continued, despite his silent protests, and although he pretended not to notice, he could not stop the visceral pull he felt. He just could not understand what he felt pulled to do.   
  
“Hey, Kaiba… about Mokuba, you don't need to be stressed out.”   
  
Kaiba looked at him with his usual arrogance. “What would I be worried about?”   
  
“School? Switzerland?”   
  
He gave him another cold look, and watched the other shrink away. “Come again?”   
  
Jounouchi pursed his lips and then just shrugged meekly and looked away. Before he could ask anymore, the elevator doors began to open, and Jounouchi walked out ahead of him like it was a race. Glowering still, Kaiba searched his back as if it would give him answers. Did he know something he didn't? Even if he did, why did he hold his tongue? Now he had done it three times, and it had become unsettling. Irritating, in fact. That's what was driving him crazy in that meeting, after all… Jounouchi holding back.   
  
Once more, he was faced with the undeniable reality that Jounouchi was a man he could never hope to understand, and he had only become more difficult. After Yuugi’s party, he had felt the same way, and it had pulled him endlessly. It was like he was watching a completely different person, but in a very familiar body; still hard-headed, and passionate but disciplined… mature...   
  
How he always managed to slip beneath his radar, and make it all the way to his face, over and over again, he didn't know but he wanted so badly to end it. However, he always managed to crush the other in one way or another in the past. This was the only time he felt like he hadn’t completely won.

_ I really want to hurt him, _ he thought darkly.

Not physically. No, that would be too unsatisfying. He just wanted to know he brought the other pain–a lasting, agonizing pain the other couldn't crawl back from.

He stopped walking for a moment, and balled his fists up. This was exactly the reason he had not wanted to work with the other, he realized. He had not fully understood it back at the KaibaCorp Christmas party but there was just something he could not contain when it came to Jounouchi. It was the reason he had tried to boycott him down five years prior, and also why he called to him at the cafe, and then at the party, gave him that  _ chance _ today. Even if it was momentary, his compulsion to engage the other was a weakness, and… since he could deny it no longer… being sexually attracted just compounded the problem.   
  
_ Damn _ , he thought, starting to walk again,  _ why do I have to feel like this? If Mokuba could see me now. _   
  
Reaching the lab that Jounouchi had already disappeared into, he was sure his brother would laugh, or pat him on the back five months ago. Now, he would probably nod knowingly and brush it aside. The distance had grown even greater since New Years… and now Jounouchi had revealed it more by knowing what he didn't.   
  
Finally, he gave himself a mental shake and went to retrieve his assistant. There were many other meetings and priorities he could focus on. Besides, Jounouchi couldn't complete the prototype in six months, so that was something he should take relief in. In half a year, Jounouchi would be the least of his problems.   
  
Now, though, he had to worry about Mokuba.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your feedback, if you can! And of course, thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the tiny Mokuba POV I've included!

**_Mid-January_ **

 

_**M**_ okuba paced the floor, a hand shoved deep into one pocket of the oversized sweater Jounouchi had given him the night before, the other clutching his cell tightly. His eyes darted restlessly between the different screens–call logs, texts, emails–until finally his thumb hit the end of the open applications and found the weather widget on his home screen. A hundred pixel-snowflakes fell from the banner, just as they had when he first woke up, but now they flashed red and white with the promise of a winter storm. Hurriedly, he swiped the screen away, and looked out the living room window.

The sky was still dark, and from his spot in the shadows of the living room he could see past the rolling lawns of the Kaiba estate to the gate, and to the street. True to the forecast, the snow was still falling–large, thick flurries uncommon for Domino's area of Japan– scattering this way and that beneath the hazy light of the street lamps. When he had crept in late the night before there had only been an inch on the ground. Now it was all he could see. Three feet had fallen, and he knew more would fall continue with no sympathy for his situation. 

He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, and looked back to the phone with imploring eyes.

“C’mon, Jou,” he groaned, tapping at the screen as he bypassed the number pad of the call screen and tapped the face at the top. “Answer.”

He brought the phone back up to his ear, his eyes returning to the window, his free hand coming up to his mouth. He pinched his lip hard as he heard the phone start to ring. Finally there was a click, and his heart jumped in his chest.

_ “Looks like I can't answer right now but if you leave a message with my friendly robot secretary I'll get right back to ya.” _

“Damn,” he hissed, squeezing his lip tighter as the electronic voice began to give him his options, and hit the button to end the call.

_ Asleep in the middle of a crisis. Your best friend skills are rusty, Jounouchi. _

He looked back out the window, releasing his lip in awe as he realized the intensity of the storm. He could no longer see the lights in the street, or the gate at the end of the lawn. It was the start of a blizzard now, and soon he would be snowed in. Jounouchi would not wake up to give him a pep-talk, and there was no one else he would rather talk to, he had forced Yuugi away, too. Besides that, if he left the house he would be stranded indefinitely, and no matter who he went to he would be subjected to a long, trite lecture he was in no mood for. He was already berating himself for his actions, already panicking about the time he would have to face his brother head-on.

Jounouchi had let the secret slip, but at least, he had made quick work of letting Mokuba know he had done it. Still, there were only so few ways to avoid confrontation with his brother when they lived in the same house and worked at the same place. He had dodged him for this long– excusing himself early from important meetings, forwarding his calls, sleeping out every night–but surely it had only made his brother impatient and suspicious.

_ I'm such a coward. _

With a heavy sigh, he fell into a chair. The tight leather creaked beneath his weight, and he winced at the sound, looking towards the stairs in the foyer with anticipation. After a moment he frowned, mentally scolding himself for the action. As long as the older Kaiba was tucked away in his room he would sleep like the dead, so there was no need to be worry about being heard, but the dread remained and he kept his eyes on the stairs.

After a long moment, he swallowed hard and tore his eyes away, bringing his knees up to chest, stretching the sweater up and out to cover all of him. He let his head fall to rest on his knees, and took a deep breath in. Jounouchi’s scent was still on the sweater, sweet and earthy like summer rain. He turned his head away, guilt streaking him as he thought of his brother again.

_ When did it get this messy _ , he asked himself, feeling his throat grow tight.  _ Loving all the wrong people, trying to mend things I didn't break, having to keep all these secrets. _

He looked back up to the window, and to the storm outside, feeling small and cold now as his mind raced. With another restless sigh, he looked to his phone again, reading the time. Half past four…

Thirty minutes until his brother’s first alarm, and nowhere to run.

* * *

 

For the first time in many years, Kaiba did not start his day when his first alarm went off.  There was an ache behind his eyes despite the darkness of his bedroom, and the sound of the alarm only made him aware of a much more painful pounding in his skull. A moment later he became aware of a dry, nagging sensation in his throat, urging him to cough, and when he did so a deep burn radiated in his chest that made him wince. With a hoarse groan of protest, he reached for the phone and through squinted eyes, he shut it off, ignoring the weather warning that popped up immediately after as he turned his other alarms off as well.

When it was all done, he threw the phone back to the table, and burrowed back under the covers trying to find some solace. The pain did not relinquish, though, and he struggled to fall back asleep, drifting in and out until he had finally had enough. He threw the blankets off and went to bathroom. His reflection looked as miserable as he felt. His hair was messy, his eyes glassy against his skin which was at least two shades lighter than normal, and his black nightshirt had come undone from a night of tossing and turning.

“Ugly,” he told himself in a whisper, opening the mirror’s cabinet.

Quickly, he swallowed some extra-strength painkillers, and then retreated to the shower where he stood in the dark, leaning into the cold tile until the pain eased some. Then he went back to his room, intent on starting his day despite the aching and coughing.

The painkillers helped him just enough to let him look at his phone, which graciously informed him of the record-breaking snowstorm he could see just between the drapes now. Immediately he thought of his brother, and hoped that he was at least somewhere warm since he had apparently decided he didn't live at the mansion anymore.

Mokuba was running. That much was obvious. However, the question was why. Mokuba certainly never had a problem speaking his mind before, they had had their share of arguments. The idea that Switzerland was a bandage on a hemorrhage weighed heavy on his mind. Too many things did not add up, but he was at a loss to try to understand. Ironically, the people who held the answers–Yuugi, Jounouchi, Mokuba–were all people he had purposely pushed away by one method or another. That said, he was not even sure he wanted to know the truth. After all, his curiosity was mainly a product of frustration, not actual interest.

In an hour, the sky had started to lighten, and the fragment of the window showed him nothing but white. His email had also been flooded by the type of employees who were faithful enough to ask what they could do from their homes, and he took the time to respond to each of them, feeling uplifted by their loyalty. After that, he carefully read through the older emails about the KaibaLand project he had barely skimmed, and responded to them, carefully avoiding mentioning the maglev.

It was noon by the time he had finished and decided to venture downstairs. KaibaCorp did not stall, so he wouldn't either. He wanted to go to his office but first he wanted tea, and his maid would not be coming to work today so he would have to do it himself. It was then he became aware that Mokuba was also home, and that he'd pulled a comfortable looking armchair into the kitchen, filled a thermos and was sitting there with his laptop. The sight left him breathless, and apparently the feeling was mutual.

“You look like shit.”

_ Six days and those are the first words I hear. _

Kaiba did not bother to look at him after that, but gave a small grunt in response as he began to make himself a tea, turning all of the light switches to their off position as he went.

“Sick?”

He gave another grunt, followed by a small, strangled sniffle before he came to the table and sat down with his tea, changing his plans.

“I, uh, guess you don't want to talk, huh,” Mokuba said after a few moments.

He looked into his tea. “I can't.” His voice barely made a sound.

“Ha, and here I'd worried myself  _ numb _ with anticipation.”

Kaiba looked up at him from beneath his bangs and fixed him with a glare not even the haze of illness could hide. “Don't push your luck,” he forced, his voice hoarse and low, a hand coming to his throat as he willed the words out.

Mokuba swallowed audibly and looked back to his laptop. “My bad.”

Guilt streaked through his chest, and he looked back to his tea. Behind the silence the sickness had imposed, he was seething. There was nothing he could do to stop it. Being left in the dark to worry and wait, sitting on the idea that even a worthless person like Jounouchi knew more than he did… Being run from, having his calls forwarded. What did Mokuba expect from him?

“... I'm sorry.”

Kaiba grunted again, which was a much easier response, and pulled out his phone. He quickly typed something out and then put his phone down, and picked up his tea. In a moment, he saw Mokuba feel for his phone beneath the table, already understanding what was going to happen before he read the text message.

_ ‘The only reason you're here is because you can't leave.’ _

“That's true,” he murmured without looking up.

_ ‘Where have you been?’ _

“Around.”

Kaiba put the cup down noisily, and held the phone with both hands now. ‘ _ Is that all you have to say?’ _

“I don't have to spend all my time here, you know.”

_ ‘It's been six days.’ _

Mokuba sighed and grabbed his thermos off the table, unscrewing the lid.

He wasn't prepared for a situation like this. He had expected anger, and frustration, and loud, cutting words. He had  _ wanted _ it. It would have been a better release. Easier to deal with, at least.

“I just didn't want to be here,” Mokuba said, watching him carefully. “I knew you were going to be mad.”

Kaiba frowned and after a moment, he sent his next text.

_ ‘So you run away.’ _

"I didn't run anyway,” Mokuba huffed suddenly, waving his phone in an emphatic gesture. “I just slept out a few nights because I knew you were going to be mad Jounouchi knew about it before–” He paused, hearing his phone buzz before he had even finished speaking.

_ ‘Insulted.’ _

“What?”

Kaiba gave a sniffle as he typed again.  _ ‘I was insulted that he knew before me.’ _

Mokuba rolled his eyes at the text. “At least he wasn't going to give me a hard time about it,” he spat. “He was happy for me but if it makes you feel any better, he was the only I told.”

Kaiba felt himself snap. He opened his mouth as if to shout something, but all that came was a strained sound. He shut his mouth with a grimace and picked his phone up again, ignoring his brother's snort, trying to keep his composure.

‘W _ hat were you thinking?’ _

“About  _ what _ ? Telling him?”

‘ _ Everything. What else does he know that I don't?’ _

Mokuba read the text and Kaiba could see the emotion ripple over his face, betraying his front.

“You wouldn't understand,” he said, obviously sour now.  “You never bothered to listen before, so it's a little late for that, don't you think?”

_ ‘I asked didn't I?’ _

Mokuba bit his lip at the words and looked to the floor, silent until his phone buzzed again. Reluctantly, he looked back to it.

‘ _ Tell me what happened.’ _

He met Mokuba’s eyes. They were not as cold as he expected. In fact, they seemed glossy. No, teary. He swallowed painfully, waiting for the next words.

“... Don't look at me like you care,” Mokuba whispered, his voice trembling. He tore his eyes away and looked back to the phone. “I've been trying to talk to you for so long but  _ you _ couldn't…” He took a deep breath. “You couldn't look past your own interests long enough to care about mine.”

He swallowed again, his throat squeezing uncomfortably, feeling thick and swollen with the emotions he had been running from.

_ Now _ , he thought solemnly.  _ I have to try right now. _

Quickly he typed another message, his heart squeezing painfully as he did so, but Mokuba did not look, seeming to refuse him completely.

“Look,” Kaiba grunted finally, forcing his voice to come.

Mokuba shook his head harder.  “I don't want to.”

“Fine,” he whispered, feeling rejected and embarrassed. He had been stupid to try. A moment of weakness that he couldn't pull back now unless he dove across the table and deleted it from Mokuba’s inbox.

“Then… I guess I'll have to talk.”

Mokuba winced at the sound, but he did not give into it.

“Are you going… to Switzerland?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I already got accepted. All that's left is to pass the final exam and then I go.”

There was a heavy silence, and then Kaiba finally spoke again, his voice even quieter. “How long?”

“A full term.”

“When?”

“August.”

Kaiba sighed and took another sip of his tea, wincing painfully as he swallowed it down. He had more to say. So much more, but his throat would not permit it, and he was fighting for his self-control now.

“Why... didn't you tell me?”

Mokuba seemed to dive inside his sweater for protection, covering his hands completely with the sleeves Kaiba noticed were much too long.

“You never wanted me to go in the first place… you just wanted me to stay here and listen to  all that stupid shit about putting KaibaCorp first.”

“Don't cuss,” he managed quickly, feeling his anger rise.

Mokuba threw him a glare, but all Kaiba gave him was a blank stare in return. Finally, Mokuba broke. He gritted his teeth and looked away. 

“Whatever. I don't need your permission to go so you can just get bent.”

Kaiba stood from his chair, grabbing the teacup and his phone as he went, and he felt more than saw Mokuba watch him as he put the cup in the sink. When he turned to leave, his brother reached out again.

“I wasn't done talking!”

Kaiba shook his head to himself, fed-up, and started to leave. When he was around the corner though, he dragged his phone out.

_ ‘I have work to do,’  _ he typed out as he pushed forward. With a sigh he sent it and read the one above–the one Mokuba had ignored and refused to look at.

_ ‘I was wrong to do that.’ _

“I was wrong to do that,” he mouthed to himself, feeling the disbelief pull at him.

_ Never _ .

He had never admitted that he was wrong before, not sincerely, and yet Mokuba had ignored it--so wrapped up in whatever was polluting his thoughts that he could only refuse him.

He read it again, and then again, as if trying to convince himself that the wrong words had been displayed, that maybe it was not too late to delete them, but they remained where they were.

The idea that their conversation might have gone differently stung him but ultimately the idea that he even tried stung more. It wasn't going to make things better. They were just words on a screen, after all, and he wouldn't have been able to say them out loud.

_ Admittedly, that's part of the problem,  _ he thought  as he entered the office and sank into his quiet slice of perfection.

“Whatever,” he whispered immediately, opening his laptop, trying to brush it off enough to focus now.

Thinking about it would do him no good. The ball was not in his court anymore. Mokuba would have to decide what to do now. He could not stop him from going to Switzerland. Mokuba had his own finances, his own life to live, and if he chose to give up his spot as Vice President to do it, then that was his own problem.

_ One new e-mail,  _ the tiny pop-up in the corner of his screen told him.

He clicked it, expecting a message from one of the employees he had helped earlier in the morning, but when he read the subject and sender boxes and saw Jounouchi’s name he slammed his laptop shut so fast–so hard–he was surprised the screen didn't break.

_ Fuck you,  _ he cursed mentally, his eyes still fixed on the laptop, aching from the strain.  _ You're always everywhere I don't want you. _

And then it clicked, as if it had always been an idea just lingering beneath the surface and all he needed to was reach out for it. The sweater Mokuba was wearing. It was the same one Jounouchi had been wearing at New Years--black and baggy, just low enough to see the collarbones, too big for someone of Mokuba’s size.

_It's him,_ he seethed suddenly, fixing the laptop with all his wrath. _This is all his fault._


End file.
